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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23268094">the ikea conspiracy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplyclockwork/pseuds/simplyclockwork'>simplyclockwork</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Tumblr Inspired/Prompted Sherlock Fics - Part One [38]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes &amp; Related Fandoms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Tumblr Prompt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:21:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>268</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23268094</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplyclockwork/pseuds/simplyclockwork</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock + John + Ikea furniture = conspiracy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sherlock Holmes/John Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Tumblr Inspired/Prompted Sherlock Fics - Part One [38]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1528859</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the ikea conspiracy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompted by @moonymothgirl on tumblr:</p><p>  <b>#34. “I’m not buying Ikea furniture again.” Johnlock trying to build Ikea furniture.</b></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“This is impossible.” The declaration emerged from Sherlock’s mouth, a statement of fact. His face was flushed, hair mussed from running his fingers through it, and his lips were turned down in a powerfully angry moue. “Simply impossible. It can’t be done. It. Cannot. Be. Done.”</p><p>Standing beside him, hands on his hips, John stared at the pile of wood, metal pieces, and haphazard screws lying at their feet. Usually the calm ballast to Sherlock’s fits of tantrum, his own expression was one of frustrated defeat. Instead of filling his usual role of chaos-management, he, too, looked vanquished.</p><p>“It can’t be impossible,” John replied, though his voice was heavy with resignation. “They had to have put together the store model, right?”</p><p>Sherlock threw his hands in the air, tilting his head upward in a gesture of <em>who even knows?</em> “I think it’s a plot. It’s all a cunning plan to drive consumers of Swedish furniture absolutely around the bend.”</p><p>Staring at the obvious failure at their feet, John was inclined to agree. “How can we not do this?” he wondered aloud. “You’re a genius, I’m a doctor—how are we not able to put together a bloody dresser?”</p><p>“Because it’s a <em>conspiracy!”</em> Sherlock spat, venomous.</p><p>John nodded, eyes on the pile of very unassembled dresser. “Yup, that’s it. Must be.”</p><p>Sighing, Sherlock grabbed the box, tossing it down beside the failure that had eaten up most of the day. “We’re sending it back.” They began returning the parts to the box it had arrived in, only for Sherlock to exclaim, “It won’t even fit back in the box!”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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